


The Innkeeper's Son

by whataqueerfish



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But a lot of fluff, M/M, Protective Phil, a little bit of sadness i guess, au where they're still on youtube but it's kind of different, hobbit hair dan, i may have gotten carried away with the bants, non graphic sexy times, slow paced kinda idk, teen!phan, teenage phil with adult phil hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 03:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11501076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whataqueerfish/pseuds/whataqueerfish
Summary: In which teenage Dan is dragged along on a family vacation and ends up meeting some scary trees, an angry moth, and the boy of his dreams





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> i imagine dan to be sixteen and phil to be seventeen but i guess it doesn't really matter??  
> also i know the timeline's fucked up in terms of when they started youtube but just pretend ok

It was horrible. The heat, the mud, the insects.  
But nothing was worse than the fucking humidity.  
I was currently wading through a patch of tall grass in the middle of fucking nowhere.  
The day before, my parents had decided on a whim that they weren't going to let me mope around my room living off the Internet the entire summer. Their solution was to embark on another quality family trip, as if the last one to Morocco wasn't horrific enough.  
This time, though, we didn’t have to travel anywhere by airplane, which was a giant relief. What wasn't a giant relief was that the trip was a long weekend out in the woodlands, where apparently some guy my father knew in college ran an inn with his wife.  
And that was how I ended up in the fucking forest with my hair looking like that of an electrocuted Hobbit. I kind of feel stupid for even bothering to straighten it this morning. It'd been raining all week, and it was humid enough in the city. I don't know what I was expecting in a natural open space that didn't have ten million gallons of pollution and chemical carcinogens clogging up the air.  
I tried a final time to smooth down my hair, but to no avail. We'd parked our car in a lot way down the road. We were supposed to walk down this little path that led us to the inn. As someone who gets out of breath just climbing out of bed in the morning, the prospect of my surviving a half-mile walk through a forest wasn’t very high.  
But in spite of all the forces in the universe working against me, we soon arrived at the inn we were meant to be staying at. It was this nice squat cottage, with a lawn out front and a path leading into the woods in the back.  
Dad's friend or colleague or whatever greeted us at the reception desk.  
"You guys are lucky, you're the only guests here, so you're going to have a nice quiet stay."  
Well, yeah, I thought to myself. No one in their right minds would come out to the woods in the middle of a fucking monsoon season in July.  
I lurked around awkwardly as my parents checked into our room. I finally got antsy and pulled out my phone.  
"What's your wifi password?" I asked the innkeeper.  
He told me, but then added, "The internet reception only goes to the lobby, though. You won't get it in your room."  
I was horrified. I'm not the type to interact with nature and all, so I was counting on my only saviour this trip to be Internet access. Apparently, the universe won't grant me even that. Well, not completely, anyway.  
This was already shaping up to be a terrible vacation.  
Dejected, I began wandering around the lobby, seeing as this was where I would apparently be spending the bulk of my time here. There was a posh little dining area to the right, and a door to the left leading into what I presumed was a recreational area. On a wall in a little alcove near the back was an actual fireplace, redundant in the July heat. I walked over to some couches situated in front of it, with the intent of checking my Myspace status while I still can.  
I rounded the corner, head bowed as I reached into my bag for my laptop. Suddenly I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as some innate part of me sensed a foreign intrusion in my personal space.  
I looked up.  
A pair of bright blue eyes stared right back at me, stopping me dead in my tracks.  
The owner of said eyes was a boy a bit older than me who was currently occupying one of the couches. He had a laptop balanced on his legs, which were propped up on the cushions. He had dyed black hair cut into the style of a fringe, not unlike mine apart from colour – well, at least mine when it's not bloated from humidity. The boy was also extremely pale, and, I realized...extremely cute.  
I then became aware that I had been staring at him for a couple seconds now. I quickly broke eye contact with the boy and started internally panicking because I wasn't really expecting any social interaction after hearing what the innkeeper said about there not being any guests.  
Suddenly frightened that the boy was going to initiate a conversation, I withdrew my hand from my bag and kind of backed away from the couch. And then, acting as if I'd stumbled across the alcove by accident, I ducked my head and scurried away.  
I headed back to the reception where my parents were. For some reason, they still hadn't finished chatting with the innkeeper. So I just stood there fidgeting and praying that the boy wouldn't follow me, but at the same time also berating myself for acting like such an idiot when I saw him.  
'Great job, Dan,' I thought to myself. 'Running away when you see cute boys is exactly the reason why you'll still be single in ten years.'  
When the adults finally finished shooting the shit, I was a wreck and ready to go home and curl up in my bed and hide for a week.  
That, unfortunately, wasn’t an available option. I could only settle for scampering up to our booked cabin accommodations.  
I, luckily, had my own room, which after much inspection I decided was really a former closet renovated for moody teenagers that were dragged along on their parents’ vacations.  
But ignoring the irony of how I was literally in a closet right now, I plopped down on my bed and prayed for a greater power to strike me with lightning and end my sorry life once and for all.  
Then, I overheard my parents' conversation in their room as they were unpacking their luggage.  
"…did say they have a son around Daniel’s age, named Philip, I think. Maybe they can get together sometime, keep Dan off his computer for once."  
In spite of everything, I laughed silently to myself. Well, Dad, I wish I could get together with this boy, but probably not in the way you're thinking.  
I spent the rest of the afternoon lurking on Myspace and generally feeling sorry for myself all holed up in my closet. My thoughts also kept wandering to the boy I saw earlier, Philip, and the way he looked when I saw him for the first time; the surprise that flashed in his baby blue eyes, the way his eyebrows raised subtly, the way his lips parted slightly when it seemed like he was going to say something before I freaked out and ran away.  
As it were, I would've wasted away the rest of my night in that state, but eventually I got hungry and decided to venture downstairs for dinner with my parents.  
I also just really wanted to see Philip again. 

I sat down next to my mother at the long wooden table in the dining room.  
Apparently, my father had asked the innkeeper and his family to join us for dinner, which was why we were sitting at the big table instead of one of the regular ones.  
I was rejoicing internally at this turn of events, as I was wondering while walking down the stairs how I could possibly approach the boy again after our less than dignified first encounter. Maybe our parents chitchatting incessantly wasn't such a bad idea after all.  
I was, as it turned out, the last to arrive at the table. Although my lack of punctuality had never been a trait I was particularly ashamed of, I could feel my face heating up as I sensed multiple pairs of eyes on me as I sat down – including Philip’s.  
The meal itself wasn't very eventful. I snuck glances at the boy in-between bites, some of which he caught. When this happened, I would look away first, embarrassed to have been caught staring. But he would continue to look at me a bit longer, probably trying to figure out what my fucking problem was and whether or not I was a pervert that was going to skin him in his sleep.  
The rest of the time, the adults just talked about adult things while me and Philip tried to remain inconspicuous enough to evade attention until we could leave.  
It didn't work though, as reminiscent of all parental conversations, the focus soon drifted towards the incompetencies of the budding generation.  
Up until then, I was zoning out, playing My Chemical Romance songs in my head. But when I faintly registered the boy’s mum saying his name, I perked up.  
"Philip goes to boarding school, and he's home for the break. He hasn't parted with his laptop a single minute so far this summer."  
My mother interjected, "Daniel is the exact same! We always tell him to go outside and get some fresh air, but all he wants to do is stay in his room all day." She paused to take a bite of some potatoes, and added, "Who knows what they get up to these days."  
I wasn't sure who looked more horrified, me or Philip.  
"Mum," I choked.  
My mother looked at me pointedly, and carried on. "The reason why we're here is so that Dan can spend some time outdoors. It just isn't healthy, being locked up in a room all day."  
"Mum, you're making it sound weird."  
"Making what sound weird? What _are_ you doing up there all day anyway?"  
"I-I…" I couldn't believe I was actually having this conversation right now. "It’s just-I'm just on the Internet, that's all."  
"The Internet," my mother said in a semi-condescending tone.  
Then my mother and Philip’s mother proceeded to launch into a discussion as to why the Internet marks the decline of humanity and how it will eventually convert all teenagers into Satanical sociopaths.  
The only thing I could take solace in was the fact that Philip looked just as much like he wanted to disappear into his seat as I did.  
But in the midst of all the humiliation, I couldn't help but notice just how...endearing Philip looked, all flustered and shrinking into his hoodie. I then told myself that this was neither the time nor place to be having such thoughts, and went back to just feeling like I wanted someone to beat me to death with the spoon on my plate.  
How I survived the meal, I don't know. But before I knew it, I was helping to carry the plates to the kitchen.  
Apparently, Philip does dishes for an allowance. As I left my plates in the sink, I briefly considered staying and helping him with them. And it wasn't just because I wanted to be alone with him and see what might ensue or anything, you know, despite what you might think about me, I'm really quite a kind and considerate – okay it was mostly about being alone with Philip.  
But in the end, I decided against it. I was afraid my parents might get suspicious, because I never offer to do dishes at home (I know, I know). Also I was worried that Philip might not end up getting paid if I were to help him. And I think regardless of doing or not doing the dishes, anyone deserves getting paid after the hellish experience that was dinner.  
So I just went to the alcove in front of the fireplace, and prepared to waste away the rest of my life on the Internet whilst buried in a sofa crease. 

Eventually, my parents made me go upstairs to bed. To be honest, I kept expecting Philip to show up while I was there, but he never did. I had to remind myself that Philip was probably a person with adept social skills, unlike myself, and probably had a life outside the Internet, also unlike myself.  
That didn't stop me from thinking about him all night, though.  
Honestly, things could have, and should have escalated to the point where I'd have to _take care_ of certain things. But what I didn't expect was for the room to be so fucking cold. Apparently, the forest just doesn't give a shit about regular weather patterns. I was actually worried earlier about the room not having an AC, but now I'm just concerned that I might not make it through the night without turning into a fucking icicle.  
I finally did manage to fall asleep though. I didn't really have any dreams, but I remember seeing flashes of baby blue with wisps of jet-black hair.  
I managed to convince myself that it was all just a result of delirium from the cold though.


	2. Saturday

It was noon when I woke up, since I'd only fallen asleep as the first rays of dawn were shining in through the living room curtains. My parents had slipped a note under my door saying that they were going on a trek through the woods, and that they'd most likely be gone all day, so if I get hungry I should go downstairs and see if there's any food in the pantry.   
I was starving, so I pulled on some clothes and headed for the kitchen.   
And what do I see there, but the object of my desires ransacking a cupboard and also looking quite like he'd just climbed out of bed.   
When he heard me, he spun around in alarm. We both stood there staring at each other, and I was prepared for another awkward encounter ending with one or both of us scurrying away.   
But then his features slowly softened into a shy smile. "Breakfast?" He asked semi-sarcastically, holding up a bag of toast.   
I realized I hadn’t heard him speak until now.  
I decided that I kind of loved his voice.  
“Yes please,” I said with a laugh. It was as if all the tension in the room just melted away.  
Philip slid some bread into the toaster, and got some jam out of the cupboard. I just leaned against a counter and watched him, thoroughly fascinated.  
I couldn't explain the attraction I felt towards this boy. I mean, I've certainly been attracted to other boys before, but never to the point where as they lean across a kitchen counter and their shirt rides up to reveal a slip of skin around their hips, it’s like a bolt of electricity shot from my brain straight down to my crotch and rendered me a horrified and aroused mess.  
I shifted around uncomfortably, and Philip happened to choose this moment to turn around and look at me. I was suddenly very aware of how hot my face felt and how tightly I was gripping onto the top of the kitchen counter. I looked away quickly, trying to salvage the situation, but I could tell I’d already ruined it by the way Philip’s gaze shifted to the floor uncomfortably.  
I could’ve kick myself, but that probably would’ve made him think I was even more of a freak than he probably already thought I was.   
Just as the tension was building up to be an almost tangible entity crushing down on both of us, the toaster went off, making both of us jump about a mile in the air.   
Philip scrambled to get the toast, while I opened the jar of jam.   
We both eventually got ourselves sorted out and headed for the big dinner table, even though there were only the two of us in the dining room. Philip had his laptop with him, which he was browsing through as he ate his toast. I was slightly envious, having forgotten to even bring my phone downstairs. All I could do was look around absentmindedly as I munched on my toast.   
And I tried to look at everything but him. I really did. But it was just too fucking hard.   
The whole time, I was torn between the fear that Philip would catch me staring at him again and decide once and for all that I’m a total creep, and the desire to just watch him until via my gaze, I somehow make him fall in love with me.   
Um. Woah. Wait.   
I stuffed the rest of my toast in my mouth and practically tumbled out of my seat. Philip looked up at me curiously as I scrambled for the kitchen, making only a few incomprehensible noises to indicate my departure. And I saw, from the corner of my eye, the curiosity in Philip’s expression turn into something like…hurt?  
But I quickly pushed that thought out of my head as I put my plate in the dishwasher and almost nearly ran upstairs to my room. All I knew was that I had to get as far away as this boy as possible. Because maybe I wasn’t in love with him, as my melodramatic brain wanted to make out. But I was certainly way too infatuated with him seeing as I was only going to be here for two more days and am never going to see him again after that.   
So after I got back into my room, I decided that I was just going to stay there until the end of the bloody vacation. That way, I wouldn’t have to interact with Philip again and creep him out with my social incompetency, and I can also withdraw myself from whatever this attraction is before it grows out of hand.   
I was all set on this plan too. I had my laptop with me, and even though I didn’t have any Internet connection, I had a few downloaded games and movies all ready to go. As the hours ticked away and daylight dimmed outside my window, I started to get hungry. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to go downstairs and risk the chance of running into Philip again, so I just fished out the packet of Pom-Bears I had stored in my duffle bag and delved into my dinner.   
Everything was going swimmingly until I decided I was going to call it an early night and get my sorry ass in bed.  
Because once again, I had forgotten about the cold.   
There was no way I was going to make it through another night like this. I briefly considered going into my parents’ room and seeing if they had any extra blankets, but it was really rather quite late and my mother would absolutely rip my head off if I woke her while she’s sleeping.   
I finally resolved to head downstairs to reception and ask for another blanket. Sure, I might run into Philip and make an absolute twat of myself again, but that’s considerably better than getting frostbite and having to cut off my fingers and my nose.  
I found Philip’s mother at the reception desk. I asked for my blanket and she said she would bring one up to me in a minute. And so I trudged back upstairs, infinitely relieved that I managed to avoid Philip.   
I guess I should’ve known the universe wasn’t going to let me off that easy.  
Because after a while of sitting on my bed huddled in my hoodie trying to conserve as much body heat as possibly, I heard a knock on the door.  
I swung the door open to find myself face to face with the boy I’d been trying to avoid all afternoon.  
Philip was hugging a stack of folded up blankets to his chest. I froze, a little voice in the back of my mind screaming that _the blankets are going to smell like him_ and that there was no way I was going to be able to sleep tonight.   
"Um...here," he said, shoving the blankets at me. “Mum’s busy with paperwork or something, so she asked me to bring these up...you did ask for them, didn't you?"  
My mind was blank.   
"Uhh...yea," I eventually managed to choke out.   
Then I just stood there looking at him, and he stood there looking at me. And I started wondering why he was just standing there looking at me when I realized I was supposed to take the blankets from him.   
"Right, sorry.” I grabbed the blankets. But I’d somehow lost the abilities to move my legs, so I just continued to stand rooted to the spot while my heart threatened to jump out of my throat with each frantic lurch of a heartbeat.   
Philip was looking right at me. His eyes were light enough that I could see how dilated his pupils were.  
I scarcely remembered reading somewhere about how one’s pupils become dilated when they’re looking at someone they’re attracted to.  
I told myself to breathe.  
“Um…I’m Phil."  
"Dan."  
I don't know why we said that. We both knew each other's names already. Maybe to establish a nickname basis?  
“Erm…”   
“I’ll-I’ll just go now.”  
Phil started to step away from the door.  
“Uh…no, wait. Phil.”  
“Yeah?”  
Our eyes met.  
And then we were kissing.

I don’t know how long this went on. Somewhere along the way, my hoodie came off, and then I was just wearing my pajama bottoms. Phil had pushed me onto my bed, and was gently pressing me into the mattress as we kissed.  
The blankets lay discarded on the floor, their purpose superseded by mine and Phil’s body heat colluding to form a cocoon of warmth.  
We didn’t get very far in terms of doing things. I didn’t think either of us were ready for that yet. But what we were doing was already way more than I’d ever anticipated would happen.  
There was nowhere else I’d rather be in the world.  
After the fervent making out gradually ebbed to slow and soft kisses, I pulled Phil down to lie on the bed next to me.   
"That was probably the most fun I'll have this entire weekend." I sighed, lamenting my current situation.   
"You think you have it bad? Try living here.” Phil retorted.  
I laughed. “True. I don’t know how you manage.”  
"The only reason I haven't died of boredom yet is because of YouTube."  
"What's that?"  
"Oh, it's this new website where people upload videos and stuff. It's really fun, better than TV – not that we get cable out here in the first place."  
“YouTube sounds…creepy.”  
“No, no. It’s nothing like that. Well, I mean, there’s obviously _that_ kind of stuff, you can’t control what people upload. But for the most part, it’s just vlogs and cat videos.”  
“Sounds like an accurate representation of my soul.”  
“Yeah, I think you’d like it,” Phil laughed. “Maybe we can make a video together sometime.”  
“You make _videos_ and then upload them to the Internet?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Wow, Phil. I’m honoured and all, but I’m not really into _that_ kind of stuff. I mean, it’s cool if you are, but – ”  
Phil shoved me good-naturedly. “I told you, it’s not like that. I just make little clips of stuff, and vlogs talking about important things that happen in my life.”  
I propped myself up on one elbow. “Am I an important thing that’s happened in your life?” I asked playfully.  
Phil looked up at me, suddenly kind of pensive.   
“Yeah, Dan. You are.”  
I could feel my cheeks heating up, but at the same time I couldn’t control the grin spreading across my face.  
Phil continued, “Look, Dan. I know we’d only met like a day ago, and we don’t really know each other at all, and for all I know you can be a serial killer or something.”  
I assured him that I wasn’t.  
“But I think I’ve been falling for you since I saw you yesterday for the first time in the lounge. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel awkward since then, and that’s why you left during breakfast.”  
“No, Phil. That’s not what it was at all. You didn’t make me feel awkward. I’m just naturally an idiot when it comes to social interaction. Especially social interaction with attractive people.”  
Phil grinned, and kissed me on the nose.  
And then we just lay there in a comfortable silence.   
After a while, Phil got up to leave, saying my parents could walk in at any minute. But I pulled him back down, threatening to tie him to the bed if he dared to leave me on my own. I even rested my head on his chest to keep him there for good measure.  
"You sure you want me to stay? Your parents probably won't be too happy to find the innkeeper's son in bed with their own little boy.”  
"Don't be too convinced," I tried to retort sardonically, but a hint of self-deprecation managed to creep into my voice.   
Phil immediately picked up on it and looked at me, concern written across his face.   
I shrugged, answering his unspoken question. "I'm not too close with my parents. And I honestly have no idea how they'll react if they catch me in bed with you...or any boy, for that matter."   
Phil's fingers played in my hair. "They seemed alright to me, though," he murmured.   
"Yeah? I guess. But you never know." I looked up at him. "How did your parents react, you know, when you told them?”  
Phil's fingers stopped, then continued again.   
"They were alright, I guess. Mum was really shocked. And I don't think Dad knew how to react, so he overcompensated by being really positive and stuff.” Phil paused, then sighed. "I don't think they treated me the same afterwards, though.”  
"And that's exactly what I'm afraid of.”  
Phil twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. ”Well, I guess the whole thing could've played out better. But it could've been a lot worse too. At least they didn't throw me out and make me fend for myself in the woods. I'd probably get eaten the first night."   
I giggled at the thought of Phil running away from a barrage of wild animals.   
"But yeah. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. I only see them during breaks, and I'm off to uni soon anyway."   
I made a half-hearted sound of agreement, seeing as university still seemed like another lifetime away for me.  
I guess our slight age difference didn't really bother me though, seeing as our circumstances meant that we probably weren't going to see each other again once I go back home anyway.  
I think Phil realized this at the same time I did, because his fingers stopped playing in my hair and traveled down to rest on my chest. I could feel my heart beating against his palm as he murmured, "Dad said you guys are leaving on Monday."  
"Yeah."  
"Stay here longer? Please?"  
"I can't. I would if it were up to me. I swear."  
Phil seemed to understand.  
"Alright then. We'll just have to make the most of the next two days."  
"I just feel like such an idiot for having wasted away half the trip already."  
"I think we were both being a bit melodramatic. But that's okay, because we still ended up together."  
I rolled my eyes at him. "You’re such a sap."  
"Shut up." He said, tugging at my hair.  
Against my better judgment, I decided that I kind of liked that.  
"I love your hair," he said, running his fingers through it again.  
"Thanks. But it isn't normally like this. I usually straighten it into a fringe, but the humidity is so bad I can't be bothered."  
Phil laughed softly. "You can try to straighten it all you want, but it'll always end up the way it's meant to be."  
I looked up at him, smirking. "Is that supposed to be a euphemism?"  
Phil just grinned at me. I loved the way he did it, too, with the tip of his tongue sticking out and eyes crinkling at the corners.  
I settled myself onto his chest. Phil reached for the blankets that were tossed unceremoniously on the floor earlier, and draped them over the two of us.  
And for the first time in a very long time, I managed to fall asleep before midnight. And for the first time ever, it happened to be in the arms of someone else.


	3. Sunday

Me and Phil awoke to the sound of his father shouting his name.  
"Shit." He shot up from the bed, and then covered his mouth like a little kid caught swearing in front of his parents.  
Having been rudely flung aside when he sat up, I sprawled out on the bed and groaned at the sudden absence of his body heat.  
"Dammit, I meant to leave earlier. I can't believe I fell back asleep." Phil said as he scrambled around picking up discarded pieces of clothing.  
I sat up, indignant. "You were going to leave me in the morning?"  
Phil froze in his scavenging around the room. His eyes grew wide. "No! No, I didn't mean it like that. Dan, my parents, i-it's just that..." He slowly trailed off as he saw the grin I was failing to repress.  
"You bastard." He flung my hoodie at me from the floor.  
I yelped and then started laughing. Phil joined in soon as well. And then he was back on the bed and we were kissing again. He finally pulled away when he heard another call of his name.  
"Great. Now I have to go make up an excuse as to why I wasn't in my room and why I look like I'd been through an earthquake."  
"Good luck." I sang as he glared at me jokingly.  
He paused at the door. "Meet me downstairs?"  
I bit my lip and nodded.  
He disappeared out into the corridor. 

After lying on my bed for a while and letting the residual joy of the last few minutes course through my veins, I climbed up and got dressed.  
I met my parents coming out of my room. They were, apparently, on their way out to another hike in the forest.  
I asked them what exactly it was in there that was worth seeing twice. And my mother just said that the day prior, they'd gone in one direction into the woods, and today, they’re going to go in another.  
Sometimes I really don’t understand the things that adults find entertaining.  
But if it meant I could have more time alone with Phil, I wouldn't mind if my parents just up and moved into the fucking forest.  
I practically glided into the kitchen, where Phil was already digging through the fridge. I quickly kissed him on the cheek, aware of his father in the next room. "What's for breakfast?" I asked.  
"Erm, well...nothing, really. That's actually what dad was calling me to say - he's going into the nearest town to buy food. Oh, we do have a couple eggs though. I can just scramble them."  
"Or," I said, holding up a bag of flour I found in a cupboard. "We can make pancakes."  
Phil beamed.  
Within minutes, we were covered in flour and spilled batter.  
Being the better cook, I was doing most of the work while Phil tried to cover my face and butt with flour prints. We were both aware that his mother was still somewhere in the house, so we had to try and keep the shrieking to a minimum.  
Eventually, we – or rather, I – finished making the pancakes. I just delved in with my bare hands, and laughed at Phil when he attempted to sit down and eat with a fork and a knife.  
"We're not cavemen," he berated.  
"We're not posh, either."  
"It's not posh. It's basic table manners."  
I threw a chunk of pancake at him.  
After we finished eating, we sat there trying to figure out what to do.  
"You know, we could go outside," Phil said.  
I looked at him as if he suggested we go swimming in a lake of fire and whilst eating newborn babies.  
"Well, you've been here three days and you haven't stepped a foot outside once. I don't go out much either, but, like, the trees are really quite pretty sometimes."  
“I fucking hate trees."  
"Who the heck hates trees?"  
"Me."  
"What, you hate them because they produce oxygen, therefore allowing you to breathe and sustain your life?"  
"Yes. And also because they look weird at night."  
"...Dan?"  
"Mm?"  
"Are you scared of trees?"  
"…no…"  
"Oh my god. My boyfriend's scared of trees."  
"I am not scared of trees and-" I looked up at him, suddenly registering what he'd just said.  
Phil's eyes were so wide I could almost see my own startled expression reflecting back at me.  
"Phil-"  
"Dan-"  
We both began at the same time. Phil carried on hastily before I could say anything. "I'm sorry I said that, Dan. I know you're not my boyfriend. I didn't really mean that."  
"You didn't?"  
Phil shook his head.  
"Well...I kind of wish you did."  
Phil looked at me as if I was out of my mind.  
And maybe I was, from the heat or the humidity or the mere presence of Phil next to me. Because I looked at him and said, “Will you be my boyfriend?"  
Phil looked confused. "But...it'll never work out."  
“Wow, I’m inspired by your faith, Phil."  
"No, I'm serious. We won't be able to see each other. I go to boarding school and you live in the city. And I'm off to uni in a year."  
"Where are you going?"  
“University of York, hopefully."  
"I'll go there as well."  
"Dan..."  
"And you'll be back here for holidays and stuff, right? I can just make my parents bring me here every vacation. And the rest of the time...well, we've got the Internet."  
"Long distance never works."  
"We'll make it work."  
"You're insane."  
"No, just in love."  
Phil blushed furiously. "Who's the sap now?" He muttered.  
"Is that a yes?"  
He kissed me.  
"Yes."  
I was so overjoyed I let Phil take me outside. Only to return less than a minute later. Don't get me wrong, I really did try to enjoy nature and everything. It's just that about twenty seconds after we stepped outside, this giant ass moth flew in my face, and I screamed and ran back inside. Phil just trailed behind, laughing his head off.   
"Are moths also on the list of completely harmless things you're scared of?"  
"I was literally attacked by a moth as a child."  
"Were you also attacked by a tree?"  
I stormed upstairs in a fit.  
Phil caught me on the stairway. "I'm sorry, Dan." He kissed me.  
"You are not forgiven."  
He kissed me again, slowly and deeply this time.  
"Fine. You're forgiven," I breathed.  
We went into his bedroom to plan our next move. His room didn't look much different from mine, except his entire ceiling and most of his walls were covered in posters of bands and movies and other miscellaneous things. I noticed he seemed to have an excessive amount of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” merch.  
It was relieving to know that there was someone in the world who was as much of a geek as I was.  
Suddenly, Phil jumped up from his bed. "I know what we can do," he said. He opened his desk drawer and got out a camera. Then he retrieved a tripod resting in a corner.  
"Time for our first collab video ever," he grinned.  
"But...what do you do in a collab video?"  
"Well, a lot of Youtubers do challenges and tags. But I thought we could start off easy and just do a Q&A."  
"Where will we get the Q's?"  
"Um...I guess we can just search some up. Usually I'd get subscribers to leave questions, but I never gave them a heads-up about this."  
A while later, with a list of questions ready to go, Phil started recording. We were both sat on his bed with the camera in front of us, and we took turns asking each other questions. I thought I would’ve been more nervous about doing something like this, but to my surprise, recording a video didn’t feel very unnatural at all. A part of me registered the fact that this video was going to be uploaded to the Internet and be available for literally millions of people to see. But it didn’t feel like I was talking to a million different people. It just felt like I was talking to Phil, which was quickly becoming one of the easiest things in the whole world for me to do.  
In the video, Phil introduced me as his boyfriend. He said that we had only just met a couple days ago, so we were going to be doing a Q&A as a way of getting to know each other a little better.  
Most of the questions were silly and trivial. There was stuff about our favourite bands and movie characters, and examples of violent deaths we had to choose between.  
And then it was my turn to pick a question, and I decided to go for a serious one. "If there's one thing you can change about your past, what would it be?"  
Phil giggled at the sudden profound question. “I dunno,” he said. “Maybe play more sports as a kid so I’m not so introverted now. Not sure if that would’ve made much of a difference though. You?”  
"Hmm...” I pretended to ponder deeply, as if I hadn’t ask him the question with my own answer already in mind. "I'd wish that I was born a forest fairy so I could've been here with you all this time, and can stay here with you forever."  
Phil looked at me, suddenly quiet. He turned off the camera.   
"Dan..."  
“I’m kidding. I would look horrible wearing a miniskirt and covered in glitter.”  
He gave me a once over, as if actually assessing whether or not I could pull the outfit off. But then his expression grew serious again.  
"It's not like I can stay here anyway. I leave for school in September."  
“I know.”  
“If you were a forest fairy, you’d just be stuck here with nothing to do.”  
“Are you suggesting that if you were here, _you’d_ be something for me to do?”  
“Dan, stop.”  
“Stop what?”  
“Stop trying to brush things off with a joke whenever we’re talking about something serious.”  
I grew quiet. I looked away from Phil and shifted to lie down on his bed. After a moment, he came and lay down next to me. We stared at the posters on his ceiling in silence.  
The truth was, humour, for me, was a coping mechanism. It was the way I dealt with serious situations, because if I didn’t try to undermine all my emotions, I would let them get the best of me, which would result in me caring too much. And I’ve learned that if you care too much, you’re going to end up getting hurt. It’s just one of those inevitabilities of life.  
And the reason I kept joking around with Phil so much wasn’t because I didn’t care about him or anything. It was because I cared too fucking much about him. I cared so much to the point where just thinking about going back home tomorrow felt like I was suffocating myself with a plastic bag. I cared so much to the point where if an angel fluttered down from heaven right then and offered me a single wish, and I can potentially choose to implement world peace or end hunger, I would just wish for me and Phil to be able to stay together forever, altruism be damned.  
And I didn’t think Phil realized that. Why should he, with the front I’d been putting on? He probably thought this was all just a big joke to me, just a holiday hookup with no real consequences. He probably thought I was just going to go home tomorrow and forget about him within a couple days, and just continue to prance around in the city hooking up with random people that probably wouldn’t ask for anything more in return.  
I hated that. I hated how that was probably what he was thinking right then. I hated how I’d been the one to make him feel like that. I hated how complicated the situation was. I hated how I still hadn’t said a single word and was probably losing Phil as the seconds ticked by in silence.  
There wasn’t really anything I could say at this point. It’s not like I have a way with words in situations like these. I wanted Phil to know how I felt, but there was no way I can possibly convey that to him through words without fucking up our relationship gloriously and making him hate me forever.  
So I just leaned over and kissed him. I poured every emotion, every thought, every regret I had into that single kiss, because I _had_ to make Phil understand. I had to make him realize just how fucking important he was to me, and how fucking terrified I was of losing him.  
I broke away after I realized I was crying.  
Phil saw the tears running down my face, and I couldn’t describe the concern and affection that flooded in his eyes. He pulled me into a hug, and I just sniffled against his chest as he held me tight.  
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.  
“Don’t be.”  
“I always fuck things up.”  
“No, you don’t. You didn’t fuck this up.”  
I was quiet for a moment, trying to pull myself together. And then I realized something.  
“Hey, you swore.” I looked up at Phil.  
“I did,” Phil said, slightly amazed. “I guess you bring that out in me.”  
“I’m honoured.” I rolled my eyes.  
And that’s when we both knew I was going to be okay.  
We ended up finishing the video and then heading downstairs for dinner.  
We ran into our mothers in the dining room. “It’s nice to see you boys getting along so well,” Phil’s mum said.  
“What have you been up to all day?” My mother chimed in.  
I saw Phil grow kind of red out of the corner of my eye, so I figured that he probably hadn’t told his family about his alternative YouTube career yet.  
“Um, not much,” I finally responded to my mother’s lingering question.  
She didn’t look convinced, so I added, “We actually went outside for a bit.”  
My mother practically glowed. “Really?” And then turning to Phil, she said, “You must be something quite special then, to be able to get Dan out of his room.”  
And it would’ve been a very nice and insignificant comment, but something about the way she said it made me stop in my tracks. And I noticed how her voice sounded a bit more…facetious than usual, and how one of her eyebrows was raised slightly.  
And then out of nowhere, the terrifying thought struck me that she _knew_.  
But while I was having this moment of internal turmoil, Phil was just smiling politely and carrying on the conversation, until finally he gave me a little push and we moved on into the kitchen.  
“Are you okay?” He asked me once we were out of the adults’ earshot.  
“I think my mother knows about us.”  
“That’s great!” Phil beamed.  
“Nonono, no. No. That’s not great at all.”  
Phil looked a bit hurt, so I quickly added, “Look, I was trying to hold off on telling my parents for as long as possible, okay? That way, if they get mad and try to disown me or something, I can just move out and get my own place.”  
But Phil just smiled and said, “Dan, I really think you’re overreacting. Your mum seemed perfectly fine to me. I really don’t think your parents are going to disown you for anything.”  
I continued to sulk for a bit. I wasn’t really that upset about my mother though. I kind of just wanted Phil to hug me again. Which he did, and after which I happily moved on to heat up some leftover spaghetti.  
After dinner, we went back up to his room again. Phil suggested that we start editing the video so he can upload it before I leave tomorrow.  
I was confused. “What do you mean, “Edit the video?” Isn’t what we already have good enough?”  
Phil smiled. “Dan, we have about an hour of raw footage. And half of it is probably just us kissing or doing something stupid. Do you really want to upload all of that to the Internet?”  
I blanched at the thought.  
Phil giggled at my expression. “I will give you a copy of the original video though,” he said cheekily.  
“You better,” I muttered.  
And so, as hard as it was, we managed to edit out all of the moments where we kissed or touched excessively, or went off on completely different tangents than the questions we were meant to be asking and discussing. After that, Phil copied the original video onto a flash drive, which he then presented to me and I vowed to protect with my life.  
By the time we were finished, it was quite late, and everything sounded silent outside Phil’s door. I was sitting at Phil’s desk, going through his collection of CDs and holding one up and gasping dramatically whenever I also happened to have a copy of the album. Phil lay on his bed, watching me and laughing every time I found an album we both liked. I was poring over his copy of “Origin of Symmetry” enthusiastically when he said, real quiet, “Dan?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Will you stay here for the night?”  
I looked up at him, grinning secretively. “You know, I wasn’t going to leave in the first place. I was just hoping you wouldn’t notice so I could lounge around in here until morning.”  
He smiled, and reached out as if he were inviting me to join him on the bed.  
I happily complied.  
And we kissed again, like we did the night before. But this time there was something more urgent, more desperate in both of our actions. I think the realization that this was the last night we were going to be able to spend together in a very long time was in the back of our minds. And I didn’t know about Phil, but in that moment, this idea didn’t make me sad, or angry. It just made me realize that I had to – and wanted to – do something to make this as good as it can possibly be.  
And so I slipped off the same hoodie I was wearing last night, and I helped Phil out of his. And I looked at him imploringly, silently expressing that I wanted more, and asking if he did too.  
He bit his lip and nodded.  
So I continued.

Afterwards, I lay pressed up against him as we both basked in the warmth and afterglow of the moment. He started playing with my hair again, and I sighed contentedly. “Please, can I stay here forever?”  
“Yes, you can.”  
“I’ll just hide in here and you can bring me food and water.”  
“Okay.”  
“I’ll even go without the Internet.”  
“Mmhm.”  
“I might have to leave for bathroom breaks, though.”  
“Yeah.”  
“But other than that, I’m yours.”  
Phil kissed the top of my head.  
I started feeling a bit sad, which was exactly what I didn’t want this moment to be about. So I just snuggled up against him and reminded myself that even though none of what I just said could actually happen, those final two words I uttered were true, and will continue to be true forever, even after I go home and start missing him so much all I can do is just replay our video over and over again; even after countless nights of thinking and dreaming and crying about him; even after school starts for the both of us and all we look forward to everyday is getting home and being able to instant message or skype; even after Phil graduates and leaves for university; even after I graduate and leave for university; even after the moment finally comes when we can be together again, and not just in fleeting intervals during holidays and vacations, those words will continue to be true. That much I was certain of as I lay breathing in his arms and waiting, until morning comes and takes me away from my innkeeper’s son.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was inspired by an actual trip I had (that sadly didn't end with me meeting the girl of my dreams) but i thought hey why not project my life onto dan and phil but have their relationship actually kind of work out so i can live vicariously through their happiness (or not, depending on how you interpret the ending).  
> but yeah, this is only my second attempt ever at fanfiction so please don't hesitate to tell me how much you thought it sucked or if you thought it was maybe kind of good. i know the story was a bit slow paced and nothing too exciting happened, so thanks so much for sticking with it until the end :)))


End file.
